Finding the Line

My dad, Skip Cathcart, aka Jack Mirfak, died the day after my last blog post. A month and a half later I sit in a little brewpub in Oakridge, Oregon listening to a singer sing "... down the road."

His life changed me. His death changed me. Yet here I am, still me, still following my thread.

Nearly a year has passed since I wrote of my thread from a distant place, in this life. In that time I'm not clear that I've really figured out where my thread leads, no I'm following my thread. But, I've had some clarity about what my thread is made of: friends, honesty, bikes, photography, exploration, curiosity.

It seems that more questions arise, and few questions are answered as this life moves ever onward. My dad once said, "the bigger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of mystery." I think it is someone else's quote, but relevant to us all.

I've been in the usual routine again since Dad died. Go to work, go home, think of stuff to do, think of places to go, think of people to see. But do any of these things get us any farther down the line? Do they answer any of the questions that go unspoken?

Where am I?
How did I get here?
What does it mean when I say the word I?
Is there a purpose to my life?
Is there any way for me to answer these questions?

These are questions my dad asked, and kept asking, until he moved on. Maybe he found some answers to these questions where he went, maybe he is still asking them where he is now.

I'm grateful for my life every day, and for each and every friend I have.

I'm moving on towards another adventure this spring; a trip to Moab to work at the Poison Spider Bike Shop. I'll be there from mid March until late May. I'm looking forward to all of the newness of adventure, to the smells and sights of the Southwest, and to all to the unknowns out there.

See you on the road.

Ad Astra..

Tiger got to hunt,
Bird got to fly,
Man got to ask himself,
Why? Why? Why?

Tiger got to rest,
Bird got to land,
Man got to tell himself he understand.

A few pictures representative of what I'm thinking about and feeling today.

Top to bottom:

We Can Handle It boxcar-my dad's favorite.
Tracks ahead- the road goes ever onward.
Friends and music-make life worth living.
Turns ahead-maybe this was a premonition.

My dad and I are at the hospital. He became too weak to care for himself at home a few days ago. We felt we had no options left but to call for an ambulance and head into town to find medical assistance. The doctors found cancer in his lungs, his liver, his spleen, his lymph nodes, his adrenal glands. He has melanoma. It is untreatable at this stage.

The question of time comes to mind. How much of it does he have? That's what people usually ask in these circumstances. But none of us know. Not for him, not for ourselves. We don't know if we'll live to see 90, or die on the way to work tomorrow. Seems to me the question of importance isn't how much time we have, but rather, what can we do with our time here?

That question of course can't be answered unless a person first considers what they believe the purpose of life to be. I can't say that I'm too sure there is one purpose that is right for me.

I believe that the world contains everything from heaven to hell. I believe those concepts aren't vague and abstract ideas to be realized after we die, but instead realities here on Earth, and by inhabiting the Earth as sentient beings capable of free thinking and action we have the ability to influence our surroundings. I for one enjoy the heavenly aspects of this Earth and have yet to find a higher calling than to try to further the beautiful, the loving, the compassionate, the free and the awesomeness that I find here.

I hope my dad's last days of this life are filled with love, compassion, and the knowledge that he has helped to bring about positive change in this world by being a caring, honest, and compassionate person who values beauty and freedom, love and truth.

Think about my dad-Jack Mirfak, and send him thoughts of love and strength, positivity and courage.

And while there aren't too many signs on the road of life telling you just what the curves in the road are going to look like, you can know that there will be many, and you will be more prepared to handle them if you keep yourself strong and healthy, and avoid the traps of addiction. My dad and I want you to know; it is worth the sacrifice now to avoid the agony later.

Peace

Having left Oakridge just a few days back I've arrived in Flagstaff with my traveling companions Scott and Donna Taylor. We traveled to Arizona via Caldwell and Boise Idaho where Donna's family lives, before turning south and enjoying two days of sunshine and red rocks in Moab.
From Moab we drove to Flagstaff on a beautiful day.

During our time in Moab we connected with old friends, and made some new ones.

At the moment, I'm going to have to leave all the details out, as I'm getting ready to go to breakfast with Steve and Denise Garro (see Coconino Cycles and Denise in my links) before going for a unicycle/handbike/hike with the two of them.

The pictures below are of Shawn Hanka as he showed me around near Amasa Back in Moab.

More later!

Dale Chihuli Chandelier II
in the
Milwaukee Museum of Art

Capital Building in Madison during the Saturday Market

Thai Pavilion in Botanical Garden

Botanical Garden Madness

A poem for the day:

"P U S H"

I do not quit.
I do begin.

To live my life from far within.

To do
To be

Just what is right for me.

To live a life not based on fear.

Rather to seek out the joy present here.

I'm posting from Emy J's, a fun and comfortable coffee house and restaurant in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. I flew into Milwaukee, Wisconsin on the 9th. Enjoying a 4 hour wait, I walked around the city, going from the bus station down to Lake Michigan, before walking along the shoreline to the Milwaukee Museum of Art. I was attracted to it by the amazing architecture, pictured above. Once there I was really stoked to investigate the building and it's contents.

While I chose not to go into the exhibit itself during my short stay, I did enter the atrium where there is an amazing piece by Dale Chihuly, a revered and pioneering glass artisan. It is his "Isola di San Giocomo in Palude, Chandelier II". A gigantic work of art consisting of many hundreds of pieces of individually blown and sculpted glass. It is amazing for it's uniqueness, life, color, textures, and intricacy.

From there I walked back through the city, enchanted with the brick architecture, and waterways throughout. I hopped on a "Lamers" bus, which was indeed full of somewhat lame people, and scooted on to Stevens Point, Wisconsin.

My friend Sarah met me there, and we began our week together. I'll tell you about the edges of my time here, and leave the deep rooted content for another post.

It is fall here, color at it's peak. There are hardly any hills in this part of the country, which I always pictured creating long vistas and a feeling of bigness. But lo, it is rather confining I find. The lack of topography creates a visual barrier at the next building, the next tree, and really a person can't see more than a half a mile most of the time.

But that's OK if what you are looking for is where you are. And indeed I came here to see my friend, her family, and my family in Madison.

Sarah showed me around Point as they call it. The Other Side, a fun little restaurant cafe is a hub of eclectic culture was our first stopping point. We enjoyed fine microbrew from the area, and some good food.

The next few days were a mixture of traveling to Madison, seeing the culture and sites of the city and it's dwellings, and meeting Sarah's family. I had met her mom before in Oregon, but this time I was also introduced to her grandparents, her sister, her friend Dan and her long time friend Lee Francin and her new family Shawn and daughter Olivia.
I enjoyed Madison, was glad to meet her family and friends.

My trip here is the culmination of many years of companionship with Sarah, beginning at the Single Speed World Championships in Downieville, CA.

This trip is something I've both wanted to embark on since our first meeting, and something I've feared to embark upon as it is a journey into the unknown . While Sarah and I both care for each other deeply our paths have often been filled with scree, and the hardscrabble under foot has caused a fall or two for both of us which have left scars.

That said, I was hoping to find smooth tread under foot for this week's travels. However we have again failed to agree upon the smooth path to travel, and are walking the middle ground of no path in particular stumbling over brambles, and cactus, and kicking rocks we didn't see.

Fumbling for footing is never fun, but has provided insight into ourselves and our relationship, and hopefully before the trip comes to a close, clarity and direction.

Sarah has met some great people here and I've met a few of them now too. There is a good bike scene here, just about everyone I've met is really friendly and enjoyable, and they have all been welcoming as I explore.

The week ahead will go quickly I'm sure. I've got another day or two here, then I'm off to Madison for a couple of days with my uncle Jeramiah and Aunt Nancy, and on Saturday I'm going back to Portland. As usual, I'm glad I've gone traveling, and look forward to being home again.

Where's the comments? Whatcha got for me?

Touch it's cold hard steel.
The sharp coolness of alone.

Smile on a bike,
Warm the coolness.

Cold steel meets,
Human drive.

We can handle it?
We can handle it.

Hold me to your heart.
And don't ever say we'll part.