The lights came over the hill, I was out of breath from hiking through the snow carrying everything I will use to travel to South America on my back, the car stopped in the darkness and the passenger window slid down, "Bus isn't running this morning, weather emergency, sorry," the driver said. The window slid up and he drove away into the darkness of the morning blizzard.
The snow fell on my face, I thought of the train I was to catch 50 miles away through the darkness and the snow, and I started walking. My arm instinctively reached outwards, my thumb pointing up into the darkness of the morning.
A semi rolled by apathetically ignoring the plight of this traveler. A friend's truck lerched past, driver weary and unaware of me as he focused on making it to his destination safely. Another truck approached. My arm began waving around, my legs lifting my body up and down. "Stop, stop, wait for me," my soul shouted. The truck stopped. The driver eyed me suspiciously.. "Can you take me to Eugene? I've got to catch the 9 o'clock train, and there is no bus this morning," I said.
We rolled into the blizzard and my trip had begun.
A day's journey behind me, I sit in a sunlit window contemplating the journey to come. "I'm traveling not so much to learn what is out There, as to learn what is in Here," I think.
It is a social life I lead, one of many friends and countless acquaintances. For me the struggle is to find a space, find the strength, to be alone, to just do Eug's stuff. To what do what is right for me, now.
I find it difficult to set myself aside, and focus on my goals, my projects, as I am often distracted by the temptation to journey to a friendly locale, enjoy the company, and often a good meal together. This trip is a sort of forced isolation for a soul weary from too much of a good thing.
The sun still shines through the bay window I sit next to, illuminating the ever green foliage that comprises every unpaved inch of Cascadia. It speaks to me, "leave the little glowing plastic box Eug, the world awaits," and so I go.